Throwback Thursday for the Basics

Fall is in the air.

It’s also Thursday. As we move into the next season, a look back to some fall designs… and decorations from the past.

Sorry had to sneak some cat pictures and pumpkin beer in there.

‘Tis the season for pumpkin spice and glorious weather!

Falling…into fall. What are you guys doing?

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No One (else) Said You Can’t…

When you want something, you look for all the possibilities. If you want to make a beautiful home you immerse yourself in home decor information. If you want to start, you start. It’s that simple. You don’t have to be an expert you just need to give yourself permission.

It’s a funny thing in life that we limit our own abilities by saying things like “oh I could never do that” or “I’m not that creative”, the truth is, you either don’t want to, or you don’t believe in yourself. I’m not talking about having this superior ego, but what I’m saying is you can do anything if you give yourself the time to learn and execute it.

I’m currently in the midst of remodeling my loft. I want built in shelves and I want to do it on a budget. I want it to have a little rustic industrial charm but mostly I want it to be functional. I want to have an organized and functional space to learn, build and think. So I’m creating it. I am starting with an idea and taking the steps to make it real. (Yes I will keep you posted on the before and after.)

It’s that simple. You wake up and decide you want it and then you start creating it. Maybe you start with a concept but that is how everything beautiful in the world is born. A concept is just waiting to become a reality. I’m making my own reality by carrying out my ideas. Let me tell you, it’s satisfying as hell to watch your mind unfold from thought to reality… it’s like magic. Now you see it, then it’s real.

Open the door to the possibilities, and to inspiration you owe it to yourself!

If you can picture your dreams, you can make them. You can. You should and I hope you do or make or get, anything you want!

Happy weekend friends! What are some of your great concepts and how did you make it a reality? I love to hear what y’all are doing!

Til next time!

Driving into Death Valley

Whether you are in search of your next vacation adventure or looking to add something to your bucket list, this is it people! Death Valley, California!

Until I began planning our California trip I never really took the time to notice the fact that deserts are cool AF! In fact the Death Valley National Park is the largest National Park in the world, and has the hottest,driest and lowest points in the world as well! Seriously!? So this is a brief recap of our time spent enjoying two full days of seeing the most amazing sights of my life. It was like being on mars. All you Star Wars fans, yes it was filmed there! Oh ya!

Star Wars!

I will finish the series, before I die, and many other movies…

By now we had been driving for what seemed like an hour but was about 3.. There was so much sky above and so much land, with not a single soul. Sadly we saw no authentic tumbleweeds in real life, but the picture is pretty clear. It was miles of no humanity. It was a very real reminder of the fact that the earth is a planet like the rest of them…

It was strange and intoxicating to be in such a quiet, intense place.

Luckily it wasn’t hot, but it does get to about 125 degrees f in the summer months. No that isn’t snow. It’s salt! Crazy right!? So we saw some crazy mountain terrain and rugged hills. We saw colors in the earth that were like cryptonyte, or at least what I picture it looking like. We saw LEGIT purple mountains magesty. This place was incredible!

The one stop we made en route was at this groovy 1940s, perfect place for a murder- serial-killer- sex- trafficker, pit stop. It had all the makings of one of those drive America roadside attractions, with flare!

I must say it was everything I expected and extremely disconcerting. The place had vibes, ghost town vibes, of the west coast gold rush. The sign was cool and for the price of gasoline in the middle of the desert it deserved a photo op. I was also documenting for whoever found my phone when I got kidknapped.

The gentleman who pumped the gas was extremely nice, so I’m sure it wasn’t really thaaat bad. I used the bathroom, let’s just say, it was an experience… it was your standard high school bathroom length, with stalls. Most of them were broken, waterless, brown, or didn’t have toilet paper. I’ll be honest washing my hands was out of the question. Purell or bust around there. It was a sight. As uncomfortable as a woman could feel it still really had a vintage USA freedom vibe that was unmistakable! I mean only in America would a guy have a gas station in the middle of the desert! It’s a pretty good opportunity when you are the only show in town!

We entered into Death Valley proper at dusk, which was pretty incredible!

It was just the most incredible desert highway ever. It really made me want a drag race car, because you could go 200mph and have no chance of hitting anything except a mountain. The majority of the roads were straight-away with smooth turns, basically built for cruising at unreasonably fast speeds.

We passed one other area that seemed to have life, minimum life but I bet they had WiFi! I was certainly preparing for a Wild West adventure at this point. It was so bare, and a saloon would definetly feel right under the circumstances. We did see an opera house, which felt strange, haunted and very out of place. Yet, we later discovered more details of the desert-opera origins, and success!

Just as the sunset, our gps started to pick up the pace, not that it was necessary since we did map out the details in advance. It was reassuring though.

So the sun set.

It was black.

Then we arrived.

It

Was

EXACTLY

what I wanted!

However, because of my scholarly knowledge of hospitality, I found this place to be extremely “corporate” in the sense that it clearly had organization/ sophistication that was surprisingly unexpected. In a place that probably had a multitude of legitimate barriers, the check in desk and hotel room were clean, organized and down right classy for a desert. It was so well designed with photographs and decor that I was impressed. So when we got to the restaraunt naturally I inquired about the way the place is run.

It was basically corperate, so it’s well oiled machine swagger wasn’t a mirage. The staff was brought in like Disney land, seasonal and housed on campus. Weird! They were so nice though! Who knew there was this gypsy hospitality life out in the world. So the bar tenders and wait staff gave us the full run down, perhaps because we were inquisitive or maybe they give the details to everyone. Either way, we were impressed!

So the food was awesome!

The drinks were great!

There was Hollywood memorabilia.

Also! Star Wars!

No that is not a typo! Fun fact: the original name of Return of the Jedi was “Revenge of the Jedi” only 10,000 copies of the movie poster exist and because they filmed it in Death Valley, guess where the staff slept!?

Yes!!!

The story started with this painting, it was covered up and curiously so. I guess kids these days can’t appreciate art. The woman in the painting was said to have a Russian Ballerina who’s car broke down in Death Valley. She came upon the theater and loved it so much she decided to open a world class opera house. It was speculated that she was too burnt out to continue with New York City Ballet so this was in essence her retirement. Luckily she was well connected and folks from all over the world came to enjoy her opera house in the desert.

This was a glorious story… not totally accurate but pretty close! Amargosa Opera House was rented and repaired in by a gal named Marta Becket. She was an exceptionally bad ass lady who had the gumption to put an opera house in the middle of a desert and man did she nail it!

It was a great success, oh she wasn’t Russian, she was a dancer, singer choreographer, actress. She was a radio city music hall ballerina. She also got a flat tire en route somewhere with her husband in the desert when they discovered the then social hall turned opera house.

So basically ballerinas rule the desert!! If you would like to hear how amazing the actual adventures within the glorious Death Valley National Park were stay tuned, the next part is coming soon! Yes we have officially been to the lowest point in the world! It was salty, sandy and literally the most amazing place I’ve ever seen!

So this turned into a two part blog only because there really is so much more to tell!

See y’all soon!

Happy adventuring!

How Do You Define Success?

This thing in life called success is by far the most complex of all adult complexities. Everyone has their own definition. Success is such a personal word, yet we constantly seek validation on our own definition. Why?

I’d like to think that we, as the social human species that we are, want to make sure we aren’t some kind of deviant nut job. Although, I’m sure the first person to seek validation for the tiny house got a lot of side eye. I don’t expect this to resonate with everyone, but for some of us (possibly deviant), there’s something calling us.

My personal definition of success would mean I would have landed the job/ lotto or otherwise level of awesome that is #waterfrontlife. Let me clarify, the ocean not the lake. Once I have achieved the level of awesome in life to live on the coast of a beautiful ocean, I’ve made it!

Here it is the tangent I usually go into when I’m making a pretty clear point… feel free to skip this if you just want to, but it is actually kind of worth reading… It was August 2013. It was a girls night, at the apartment I used to rent in Middletown,CT. It was small, but it had everything we needed. Enough space to spread out but not enough to stay forever. What we loved about this place was that it had a rooftop deck. So we went out to the bar, all 8 of us, and a good friend of mine came out to meet us, he brought with him another friend of his. So we drink, we party, we return to my place. Some people leave, and it’s down to my friend, his friend and myself… Naturally we continue drinking on the rooftop. As we sit their we discussed life, 3:00 am seemed like the perfect time to do so.

I’ll never forget that night. We talked about success. For me, it meant doing better financially than my parents, winning the money race. He agreed. There was a lot of other banter but this stuck out to me. We decided at that moment, money was the definition of success. It was after that, I chased it, and found that it’s not the actual gathering and hoarding of money that really defines success by itself… (tangent complete)

I haven’t always known what success looked like for me. Some people say it’s a title (Doctor Robyn doesn’t sound right), part of my ego thinks that’s true, but no, for me it’s not a title. It’s a place of sheer and utter perfection.

Success has always been a place for me?(I was surprised)! Actually it’s a feeling to me as well, the feeling of being so proud you want to explode!

It wasn’t until recently I realized that what I’d visualized all these years as my #homegoals was actually my definition of success. I was shuffling through my podcast options and I heard the maker of spanx clarify what success meant to her… and no it didn’t mean skinny jeans with no muffin top (but maybe that is success for someone), no it was like a light bulb went off!

Sara Blakely was a woman on a mission to meet Oprah Winfrey(I mean who isn’t right!?). So she spent years trying different strategies in order to meet O. She always visualized this meeting, at each stage of her life, asking herself if whatever she was doing at that time was getting closer to her goal. Oprah’s meeting was the point at which she knew she had “made it”. So meeting with Oprah was her definition of success!

She recalls the visualization of the interview with Oprah, and how it really helped drive her to being an entrepreneur. What I found the most “ah-ha” about this was that, I (not a super billionaire-Forbes-list human) had always had the same experience, from the ripe age of my youth I had a vision of success. I never pictured success to be a vision I guess. I thought of it more of a dollar amount, sailing into the sunset kind of thing. I thought it was a title or a job or a rich snobby lifestyle. I thought it was something but not a place.

I was never a kid who liked to play with baby dolls and thus that meant I would grow up to be a nicu nurse. No I never had that “thing”. I never had an overwhelming desire to be a mother. I was never the best at anything or even the worst. I never really had a “calling”, so I thought. I always had a vision though. I didn’t know it until I realized that is where my mind wondered, that’s where my passion was.

What is the formula? Location of future home =success/ purpose/passion all the other buzzwords that then equal happiness?? Maybe!

So many women have the same sentiment… the when this happens then I’ve made it… I believe even Oprah had this definition at some point in her life. Usually it’s not based on a number in your bank account but rather an experience which makes you fundamentally change. I hope it’s a myth that only the lucky few have always known who they were meant to be. What I’ve seen in my own experience is that we know but then we change course for whatever reason. Maybe we always wanted something, what happens if we get it?

What about after you meet Oprah then what? Life doesn’t stop! I personally have not met the great O but I get the concept. I’ve made goals, hit them and felt kind of “disappointed” once they are over. It’s as if you checked that box, and now, you are ready for the next. This may also be a character flaw but once I make it (insert life goal), then, I’m quickly onto the next thing. For me relishing in achievement doesn’t do anything for me. Some people hold onto these moments for a lifetime, living in that high of life. I picture a shot out, drunken high school jock that never grew up, but remembers the good old days. I almost never look back, unless I’m scared. Which is what success does not look like.

Success is what happens when you are living in the moment.

Okay so back to my vision of success. You know how in movies they replay the same scene of that gorgeous woman opening the French doors with wispy, sheer curtains and a light breeze? Well that’s similar to my vision. Let’s paint the picture…

There isn’t a coco Chanel commercial coming up, in fact there is just me, my love and the beautiful place we live. It’s nautical but not cluttered. Overall it’s pretty simple. There are bookshelves with books, and sea treasures. There is a great big wall of windows, and a white oversized canvas couch. There are cozy blankets and soft colors. It’s calm, light is pouring in. There are whites, creams, beiges, pale sea glass colors and calm blues. The kitchen is opened into the living room and the space is just about medium sized. It’s opened and salt airy. All windows open the doors slide and the air fills the room. Outside you see the seagrass, sand, assorted pebbles. All you can hear is the waves, and wind cooing. The sand is cool and it’s about 6:00pm. The day has been filled with love and calmness. It’s almost time to light a fire and watch the ocean in its mysterious elegance. There are big wine glasses, linen clothes, soft fabrics and simple pleasures. Coffee would always be a ritual experience, outside, with the news or maybe not. The cat would love it too.

The life I picture here by the sea is what therapists ask you to picture when you are anxious. “Your happy place”.

I figured this was the lifestyle of the rich and famous I hoped for someday, but would ultimately never achieve. I realized while listening to this women talking about her ideal meeting with Oprah that in fact If I didn’t make this dream come true. I would never have reached the success I had imagined for myself. I realized success wasn’t a job, or a bank account or hitting the lotto. It was a place.

You can’t get this working for the state… nope you can’t get this being average. You can’t get that life until you are maybe 65 but only after saving your entire life to hopefully get there someday. So I guess in my mind I tabled this idea as something I’ll look into once I’ve figured out the foundation (like what the heck I could do to make the exorbitant amount of money to afford this). I think the reality is I’m not patient, nor am I rational in this vision. I don’t think I need to be. It’s my dream! Right? (Rhetorical)

Living a life filled with passion.

Now that I have put that vision out into the universe it’s important to explain how this actually led me to decide what my “passion” is. I put it in quotations because I feel that my passion is pretty fluid in that I am passionate about many things, not one at a time. So for me the idea of home has always been what I felt the most driven by. Maybe because I always wanted my home to be perfect. I always wanted to enhance the experience for my guests, simply by the way in which my home speaks to them (also because I am a people pleaser). Sounds crazy right? Maybe a little, maybe not.

After getting far enough along my life to see life for the meaning it offers, I have learned that being rich or famous is not success (for me). I finally decided what success means. It means living with purpose, pursuing passion and exploring your own personal journey. Maybe money and material things are a part of that, but it’s not the bottom line.

For me success is living a life, every day with passion, purpose and meaning. My passion is architecture, art, history, music, food, experiences, creating beauty and helping people. For me success will be when I am working for someone using my talents, and helping them achieve their goals. Success will be when I’m watching the light pour in through my sheer curtains on the beach.

I’m always looking for ways to improve, learn and grow and I don’t think there is ever a time that I’ll feel “full” enough to stop. It’s a journey.

Success is a timeless journey.

It is something that mankind has searched for, since the beginning of time. When you have achieved success then you have made yourself proud, you have made a difference in the world, and you’ve offered yourself the gifts only you possess. Success can not be taught. It can not be defined. It is what each of use strive to achieve in the short time we are here on this earth.

We may have many successes. We may have just one that we wish to achieve. Whatever success means, I can not tell you personally, it’s a journey to discovery.

My hope is that like my “ah-ha” moment listening to that podcast, that someone reading this will realize that the picture in their mind, might be more. The vision you have for your life, it might be your definition of success.

Leave me a comment and let me know what your vision is! I’d love to hear your feedback!!

Until next time.

…On how to make sense of your destiny…


As many millenials alike, I too was told I could be anything when I grew up. So broad right? I natrally believed that whatever I was destined to do would be waiting for me when I got there. WRONG!

So here in the middle of making a change and staying in my comfort zone I figured I’d share some healthy ideas about how to do this before you reach the ripe age of 28. Meaning, I should have been planning in my high school/ college years for what my path would be, but then the passion for the party was too great.

First, decide what you like to do, outside of the obvious vacations and other frivolous activities. If you haven’t spent enough time getting to know the things you love or even like doing. Stop and start  learning yourself. PSA: ladies don’t depend on your man, and gentlemen don’t expect your boys (or your girl) to be there when you’re 30 and living at home. Start learning what you are natrally inclined to, and what you are horrible at doing. Do it now! Go out into the World Wide Web and browse Myer Briggs personality test. That’s science. It will tell you 4 traits that will help you to define the basics. Once you know (from science) that you are more introverted than extroverted, then you know you probably don’t want to be a news anchor.

Rule out the obvious. You hate math, so don’t go into statistics. You hate animals, don’t volunteer at a vet.

Now for the hard part…what are you great at? If you are like me, you probably have a number of “talents” but nothing “outstanding”. I am great at doing a lot of different things. Being great at doing something doesn’t mean you are the best of anyone else. It means you have a passion for it. When you have a passion you can be great but you have to work hard. Decide if you are willing to put in the work.

So if you don’t know where you want to be in 5 years that’s okay, but you know you want to make a change. Start now. Learn yourself, and start working on it. Maybe it takes you a while or maybe you quit your job and open a yoga studio. Whatever you decide, If you are passionate and you work hard, it will work out. Hey worst case scenario, you fail, and go back to the drawing board, at least you know you tried. You can’t live life in a plastic bubble. It might be safe, but it will never be satisfying.


So take a risk, and grow, it hurts but in the end you will be more satisfied by planting the seed than by picking the flower.

This is pene(lope)$

Every major player must have a sidekick… so I decided (with joe of course) it was time for a sidekick.

Meet Penelope aka Lopes:

…From her kitten like fur to her double paws… She’s a feline like no other.


She’s always ready for adventure, even when she isn’t invited…


She actually likes road trips.

It’s not just her adventure-like tendencies that make her a great side-kick (cat). It’s her way of just being there when you need her to calm you down…


She’s always ready for a photo op


She makes holidays more childlike and nostalgic…


But with every cat step she takes with her double paws… she’s an all American gal!

She’s always been a big fan of sports..


And even when she’s being squished she’s still a good sport herself.


After all… is said and done usually after a long week, we can always count on lopes to kick back and relax.

Lopes, is the best sidekick anyone could have! There’s always a new story to tell her or a new game to play!

Happy Monday! Find yourself a cat like lopes at The cat hole in CT the breeders are awesome and you’re sure to find the best sidekick ever!

Be better at doing things…


When you get pulled in too many directions, the natural response is to panic. You are afterall just one person.

BUT

What if I told you, you can do all the things that are gnawing to be tamed with a little help from time management?

First I’d like to say I’m a list maker. I live by the list and if it’s too messy I’ll make a new one… because for me the thought of checking off those boxes is like a Xanax.

If I don’t get my work done then I don’t stress over it because I know I’ll get something done tomorrow, it’s all about plugging along. I admit I have high expectations for myself but everyone should. There are so many things I want to do, and time is limited, so is energy. 

So here’s how to get more ish done… and still feel like a human. 

  1. First… tackle your most-hated-projects first. No you won’t want to do them later because that’s how things work, the more you push it off the harder it is to tackle. It’s like a snowball effect. For me it’s making phone calls for appointments or calling to ask questions. I simply hate it, and for no good reason other than it requires another person to complete… So if there’s a call to be made I try to get that out of the way quickly. 
  2. Don’t give up just because it’s not going well. Most of the time I set out to do new things knowing I have generally no idea how, and then I stumble.  It’s all about the rebound my friend. Get up move around and take a break, not everyone Gifted with relentless perseverance. Breaks are your minds way of hitting the refresh button. Take them as often as you need but don’t give up on your task whether it be bleaching the bathroom floor  or finishing your  version of a Picasso if you stop you have failed. Failure = stress. Just take one thing at a time.
  3. Work smart… if you can get someone else to mitigate the task, let them… one less thing for you. Also use your tools. The internet literally has everything. Find out “life hacks” or sample explanations of what you are doing and let the time saved be your bonus! 
  4. Finally and most importantly learn this rule… it’s not a race it’s a marathon. Don’t skip out on the chance to celebrate your accomplishment but know that even small victories mean there’s more ahead! You can do it slow and steady my friends. 

So there you go. Be better at doing more without burning yourself out. Give yourself a break or a beer, you are doing the best you can! 

A Workaholics Day Off


Most people think of alcohol or drugs when they think of addiction, others think of bad habits, I think of work. It’s hard to call it a negative but other people see it that way, so I suppose it’s about your perspective. 

Ever since I was a kid I couldn’t wait to get homework. Then once I got into school I couldn’t wait to get a job, and then I got two jobs! I couldn’t be stopped.

I have this mentality that needs activity, and unfortunately most people don’t understand what it’s like to look forward to work. I am not one of them. My brain is always moving through ideas, plans, daydreams, new plans, new ideas, etc.

I used to love to get ready to go to work and I worked hard waiting tables. After my shift I would have a drink at the end of a hard day, count my money and sleep soundly. Now, my job is moving data. How unrewarding when you have nothing to show for a hard days work. No exhaustion. No satisfied customers. Nope just day after day of monotonous work.

What’s good about a job with benefits is, that they pay you to take time off.

My idea of time off (when you aren’t sick of course) is to handle as many things as possible that have been stirring inside my mind for weeks. I don’t want to go to the beach or settle into the couch, I want action! I crave completion. 

There’s something so satisfying about a job once it’s been done. I find that in my line of work, the only reward of a job well done is more responsibility and the same paycheck. 

On any given day I’m making list after list, planning, organizing, cleaning and rehashing ideas in my head. I know I sounds like a type-A psychopath but the real problem is when someone like me has to be glued to a cubicle for 40 hours a week. I might as well sell my soul to the devil. 


It wasn’t until recently that I decided enough was enough, its was time to get back to work! 

I hired a career coach, the major problem with being invested in a career is being to afraid to leave. I’m getting to that point and I know that if I stay I’ll be absolutely miserable. So I took a day off. To get to work on making the most of my life. 

What I’ve come to realize, while I was so caught up in the next “proper” step, I wasn’t focused on my needs. I was too busy trying to get a job out of college I forgot that I could BE whatever I wanted. 

After I realized I was the only one I knew who handled life like a boss… I knew. It was time to be one.


So as I start my journey to the better career path, I hope my plight has served to show someone, anyone, that you don’t have to settle in life.

 It’s too short to stand still. You have to get up and do work! Whether it’s exercise, school, pushing for a promotion or just working on yourself or a relationship, it’s worth it. Hard work pays off. 

Why Cheaters Never Win


I’ve been through a few relationships in my short 27 years on this earth. Through those relationships I’ve learned personality traits in a mate I like and dislike and have learned to be a good partner and I’ve also learned what is not okay in a partner. 

The truth is when you enter into a relationship with another human you make a promise to be there for them. You are no longer a feather blowing in whichever direction the wind blows you, now you are part of a pair of wings. 

The reality of the world now is that divorce is pretty normal, cheating is pretty normal and monogamy isn’t the main stream news. The problem is now, men and women are so self centered and obsessed with their perfect mate that they don’t see that they are most of the problem. 

So many women say “I just can’t find a nice guy”. Here’s your reality check, you don’t want one and it takes one to know one… So chances are if you are saying you can’t find a nice guy, maybe you can’t, or maybe you are too busy trying to meet someone that checks all the superficial charectoristics off your list and “nice” isn’t actually a  real priority. 

I won’t say that I didn’t go through a similar process when I was in college. I had a total jerk off boyfriend who lived in Boston. The only reason it lasted as long as it did was because he was nice once every 10 encounters and I liked his family. For those of you who feel like this kind of behavior is normal and you learn to live with it, in retrospect I was severely unhappy. I lived with constant insults, back handed compliments and a lot of judgements on my friends and family. Those are the type of men that deserve a punch in the head. I wouldn’t condone cheating on them but I can see why someone in that position would have cheated, spite, insecurities and not getting the emotional needs met.

However, if I were to guess judging by the fact that he was married within a year of our final break up, his relationship was not just with me.  He probably knew he could get away with it and I would never know. I would like to say it pains me to know that he was probably cheating for a very long time but honestly it’s for the best that it didn’t work out and now I’m in the perfect loving relationship.

Now, the other side of the coin is when the woman cheats. She cheats for a much different reason than a man cheats and I truly believe that despite the fact that humans are prone to make mistakes, women are worse. I think women cheat on men in a much more calculated and dispicable manner. They want to get their needs met, maybe physically but mostly emotionally. A woman who cheats on her man cheats because he’s doing something that isn’t good enough. Some women don’t ever admit that they aren’t happy they believe that they are, they convince themselves but then if they were then they wouldn’t have a second thought.

I recently experienced a friend go down the road of betrayal not just to her husband but also to the family the friends and the union of the two of them. It didn’t hit me until I was faced with the fact that I knew, and he didn’t that I was stuck in a very ugly situation. Not only did she cheat but she lied. I suppose those go hand in hand. I know this isn’t the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I only question why a person needs a relationship or a marriage if they aren’t getting their needs met. If you aren’t happy with your partner and even have the slightest inclination to cheat… It’s time to go.

I think when men cheat they do it for the physical need and it has nothing to do with emotional needs. When women cheat, they are getting the emotional needs met and maybe the physical. They have to live a lie and eventually the lie becomes easy enough to carry that they can do it again. It’s as if the door was already opened they just walked out and came back in carrying a little more baggage than before but they manage it. 

I often wonder why you would want to feel so heavy all the time knowing how badly you have hurt someone? How can you look at them knowing what you have done? Does it hurt you at all? Do you sit at the edge of your seat knowing that at any moment they can find out? Do you bribe people not to tell? And was it worth it? 

Cheaters don’t win and I’ll tell you why… Because a clear conscious and a transparent life with your partner is easy and happy, and trust is the foundation of that. Without trust and without honesty your relationship means nothing and it won’t last. I hope that if you are on the fence and you are considering an alternative to your current relationship that you assess why and see if you want to go through the heartache that cheating  evokes, or if you need to fix something about yourself first. Either way, cheaters never win. 

Decor with honor

While I typically make projects based on up-cycling or refreshing old furniture the most recent I did had a little more meaning. The project consisted of 2 wooden planks, savaged from the bed frame which was my father’s. 

It sounds a little morbid when I say it but he loved to sleep. And he died in his sleep. It was a water bed, but the framing was beautiful and the wood was a dark stain probably oak. I wanted to use it to make something he would be proud of. 

I come from a short line of carpenters, my grandfather and for a short time my father.

Last Father’s Day I had planned to make a bench for the entry way of my childhood home which I had intended (at the time) on buying. Luckily I was too out of sorts to complete the project and as a result the wood remained in a pile for later use. 

This year I did it. It was 2 planks of wood and two iron square legs (purchased from etsy so I know someone made them with love). 

It took me 15 minutes to screw in the legs and it came out reminiscent of the pottery barn style bench associated with a farmhouse table, valued at $799. I made this with love and $80 plus shipping. 


This was by far the easiest and most satisfying project thus far. I put the wood together, placed the legs where I wanted them. I screwed I. The screws and flipped it over. 


I’d say IKEA furniture is harder to put together. 

This was the inspiration :


And this was my final project:


O think I nailed it. 

I’m planning to get a wood burner to burn in a memorial statement to him. 

Overall it was fun and I’m glad I finally honored him with a seat and a fabulous statement for my bedroom.