The Law of “Fake it til you Make it”

I started this blog about 2 years ago, with the intentions of doing some kind of event planning, which I quickly decided wasn’t the right fit, how did I come to this conclusion? Well, a couple of reasons, but mainly because I realized the reward was not as exhilarating as the hype. I guess I expected work to be something like this, “Robyn, even from childhood would do (insert thing I was really passionate about), and it was clear then that she would also be an (insert passion again).”

After hiring a terrific career coach, I truly expected someone to tell me “What I was MEANT to do” and I learned, there is no perfect answer. In some ways I was disappointed to discover that, but as it turns out, one skill does not define you! Mark Langford my career coach, also a former CEO, hiring manager, near death experience-er, (and bonus points for Harvard business school,) has a book, that really is a terrific read, called Thank God It’s Wednesday!

So I set off on a journey to find my passion, and here’s what happend….

The truth is, doing pretty flower arrangements, setting tables, planning a meal or making a town wide event really felt good because, I am, by nature, a people pleaser. So as such, I should have already known that I would be disappointed in the responses of those who I had aimed to please.

I realized that despite my greatest intentions I couldn’t make a living on my “party planning passion” and it wouldn’t be the right fit for me (my passion is clearly not singular). I guess the reason I decided this was both, negative self talk but also MAYBE this wasn’t my passion after all? So how do you know?

Strike 1.

I still plan on killing it at thanksgiving,  and yes I still enjoy all that goes along with the process of planning an event…

Now, “Taco Tuesday “, is still over the top. Yes that is a mahi mahi taco, with fresh chopped salsa and creme fraiche . So what? Those things may seem frivolous but they make me happy. I like to feel like what I do, and work for is exactly as good as it looks. It feels good to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Sometimes, other times it tastes better when someone else makes it, it really depends on the mood.

That’s why having your taco and eating it too is so important. Who else can appreciate the taco like you can? The world is your taco! Make it with all the toppings…

(Enough life lessons and Taco joys)

Getting back to the long winded explanation of the creative process… I moved on to interior designer, that’s my ‘passion’ I know it! I have a good eye, I know what other people want (people pleaser), and I can do it! Then I found out, Pinterest and HGTV really give false expectations on a few things.

Reasons not to believe anything Pinterest or HGTV tells you:(a short list)

  1. Popcorn ceiling isn’t just spray,scrape repaint. It’s messy disgusting and it never comes off clean!! Who invented popcorn ceiling? The devil, that’s who!
  2. Ripping out carpet does not always turn up beautiful (just needs some wax) flooring, sometimes it’s subfloor shit and you need to buy new flooring… lesson learned.
  3. Not everything can be solved with coconut oil, apple cider vinegar and other life hacks, sometimes you need an electrician,so you don’t blow the power out of your whole 2nd floor while cooking the thanksgiving meal..(some other time I’ll explain)
  4. No one ever looks human during demolition and the final “touches” of fairy dust and pillow fluff is actually sleeping, because you’re dead.

NO ONE is casually invested in flipping a house, and been able to get through it without complications, and nor have they had the luxury of tying up $600,000 in capital, in the process. Just saying… I still love designing spaces but I know one thing, it’s not my “thing”.

Another strike.

I can’t help but feel like the process has made things very interesting. I know my strengths, and my weaknesses. Many lessons are learned through the process of finding ones passion, I’d advise someone to enjoy that process. I know I have. Though I don’t know that I’m the person to explain HOW to find ones, passion, I will tell you it’s not always singular. I would argue that because we are such complex individuals, there is no way to assign only one passion out ourselves, nor should we.

So now what? Focus on what’s next, nor what is forever…

Am I living my passion? Mostly

Am I getting everything I want out of life? YES.

In order to find your happiness, or your “passion” or whatever it is you are looking for, you have to start by putting yourself out there, trying new things, and faking it until you make it! 

Also, know that the process, is just as important as the outcome!

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Every Now and Then

Every day is something new. We change, embrace, create, repeat. We become more of what we are as we go! Staying inspired through life has kept things interesting for me. I grew up an old child of an intact marriage, in CT. Well yes, I guess that sounds perfect on paper, but it’s not, and nothing is. I originally started this blog as a DIY event page, which I quickly realized was not “it”... Then I realized I love designing spaces but what if I could do whatever I wanted as my job? Wow I’m such a millennial... so I just want what every girl wants, travel, love and freedom of speech. Well it’s basically a full spectrum of emotions, likes, inspirations and motivations. I assure you after reading my blog you will realize the bio is unnecessary... Look for inspiration and then create your own!

4 thoughts on “The Law of “Fake it til you Make it”

  1. Love your article! Completely agree that there are some of us that were born without one clear direction. Once I realized this, I was disappointed and a little shocked that not all dreams come true …. “What do you mean I have to have royal blood to be a princess?!” I’m also passionate about many different things and realize that I don’t have to make a living with my passions, I can just simply enjoy them.

    PS (Maybe writing is your thing!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Y’all ! That’s what Robyn calls me Y’all : ) I’m from N.O. La. so you see another example of her Creativity! Her Best Bud is my son Joseph. Back to your Blog. I love all the articles and beautifully crafted pictures. This article caught my eye firstly because of the Title”Fake it till you Make It” Something I prescribe to! By the way its a AA term I learned during my studies on Drug and Alcohol. But hey everyone trying to find their way should apply it. I always told my 3 sons “You gotta get in There”! Finding your Passion or Passions as you said is essential if you want to Truly Live Life.If you don,t take risks and try different things you will not discover your passion and what your capable of. I truly believe and have experienced that when you know what your good at and do them you are firing off on all cylinders. And yes this is a process of discovery about yourself which is a lifelong pursuit !
    I concur with these Pinterest and HGTV soft soaping projects that can be more than you bargained for! I’m in the design industry “Kitchen and Bath” and let me tell you it is way more involved than what I see in posts. Customers come in all the time without appointments and a little sketch asking me to design their Kitchen. Really! There is a process that takes a few appointments and hours on the side that I do. List for another whole article but suffice it to say I had to take over 200 classes and spending a week in Atlanta just learning 20/20 programing to Design a Kitchen with its many elements !
    You are so right that when you learn to enjoy the process then and only then will you find your Happiness. Most people want the end results but that is not living in the moment and learning about yourself and your passion.Its all about the details that are the biggest discoveries which make things beautiful and enjoyable. Taking the first step does require faking it till you make it then you settle in ! Look at children, they are in the moment in all its glory. We all learned to walk by falling down and picking ourselves up which in turn developed the muscles and gave rise to balance then we could walk and start running: )
    I look forward to more of your Blogs Robyn! Let the Adventures Begin!
    Your Faithful Follower, Claudia

    Liked by 1 person

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